Hello, poor neglected blog. I've really missed you.
Okay, so it hasn't been totally neglected, mainly because I've been posting my YA Paranormal, City of Secrets, on it. But still, as far as my blogging about writing: it's been neglected.
So much has been happening over the past year. The main reason it's been neglected is because last summer I began working on multiple projects, which I swore I would never do. I was trying to keep up regular installments of City of Secrets while working on my Adult Post-Apocalypse vampire novel, New Year's Revolution. Now NYR is on hold while I work on Pieces, my first ever in the Adult literary fiction category (more on the progress of Pieces later). So many projects. I told myself I wouldn't work on multiple projects, but I did. The ideas just started building up and I didn't want to ignore any one of them. So the blog suffered. Big time.
Then I started throwing myself into jewelry making. I am now a seasoned jewelry maker, though I like to say craftivist. Why craftivist? My friend started an organization called Pins With Purpose. Artists volunteer time and supplies to make jewelry to sell for charity. Learn more here:
Etsy.com/shop/PinsWithPurpose
Yes, that was indeed a shameless plug.
Along with jewelry making, I've thrown myself into the advertising and marketing of PWP, so I'm on the net all the time tweeting. That is not an easy task. So the blog suffered. Big time.
I've also spent the past year dealing with chronic neuropathy and ankle pain and battling with a WC insurance company to get healthcare. The pain makes me very fatigued. I did finally have surgery number three on my ankle. It's hard to say at this point how I'm recovering, but I'm thinking positively. Guess what? That contributed to the suffering of my blog. Big time.
Those are just a few of the things that made me neglect my poor blog. But I worked hard on getting this blog going, and I don't want to lose it. So I'm back. I will be blogging about writing again, and whatever else comes to mind.
Stay tuned . . . Exciting news (I swear) to come.
Until then, you should check out my YA Paranormal serial, City of Secrets. It's about a small town with plenty of juicy secrets and some ghosts. It's free to read here on my blog. I'd love comments and opinions. Thanks.
bit.ly/2onwkig
Also, I'd love a FB like! Facebook.com/beckymunyonauthor
Thanks! You're all awesome!
Friday, July 7, 2017
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
Despite popular opinion, needing government assistance sucks
I saw this on a FB friend's wall today:
It really upset me. I hate the line of thinking that people in various government assistance programs are lazy leeches. The majority of us are not.
First of all, there is a great deal of shame that goes with being poor. I'm currently on medicaid, and used to be a food stamp recipient. The process of applying for these programs is draining and humiliating. You are basically asked to provide your life story and all your deepest darkest secrets. You are made to feel like the lowest scum of the planet. Also, you really don't get much. I got $16 a month worth of food stamps. It did help, but it almost wasn't even worth the grueling application process.
I'd like to tell the story of why I'm in need of assistance. I hope it will enlighten some people.
I used to work at a nonprofit organization for adults with developmental disabilities. In addition, I worked in the retirement day program, which meant that the people I served had degenerative disabilities on top of everything else. It was extremely tough, but extremely rewarding work.
Two and a half years ago, I was assisting a man with gait issues to walk. He fell, bumped my knee, and took me down with him. I wound up with a high ankle sprain (less common and more severe than your average ankle sprain) that didn't heal properly. I had surgery, but my tendon had a bad reaction to the suture, so I had a second surgery. Again, the tendons had a bad reaction, and I was left with chronic neuropathy in both legs (it sucks.) After many doctor visits and a fight with WC insurance, two weeks ago I had surgery #3. I have a new, very experienced surgeon, so I'm hopeful that the 3rd time's the charm.
I lost my job because the company I worked for was too small to find an accommodating position for me (no hard feelings there; it is what it is), but I do receive worker's comp benefits.
If it weren't for the Medicaid expansion program, I otherwise wouldn't have had medical care for things other than the worker comp injury. I'm grateful for the program, and those who contribute to it. I don't know what I would have done with out it.
I feel that for people who are posting the above meme, this should be pointed out: I'm also grateful to myself, since, as someone who worked for 18 years prior to this, I contributed to medicaid and SS as well!!!!
Unfortunately, there are indeed bad apples who abuse these programs. It angers me because it makes people like me--the vast majority--look bad. Those bad apples are the minority. The media doesn't report "And today 2 million welfare recipients did not abuse the program" because that's not exciting news. The two people who did abuse it--that's exciting news.
Let me give an analogy to help my point. When you go into a restaurant and receive bad service, you're pretty angry about it. Sometimes, you are so angry that you tell your friends about it, and post a review on Yelp. But when you get good service, how often do you take the time to write a review? Sadly, I rarely do (though recently I've made a point of doing this.) Something good happens, and we move on with our day. It's the same thing with people on assistance programs. There's no need for the media to report on the good recipients, because there is nothing to report.
People often make jokes about how lucky I am that I don't work and don't have to get up to an alarm.
Yeah, that's definitely nice. Not working has it's perks, I won't lie. But the negatives far outweigh the positives. I'm bored. I'm in pain twenty for hours a day. I can't do the things I used to be able to do--like walk, dance, go bowling, etc. I often have the mental motivation to do something, but the physical energy is just not there. I really miss being able to work. I feel useless and depressed, and it is not a good feeling. What I miss even more is working in the human services profession. It was so rewarding.
Before I was injured, I used to look at my pay stub and see the Medicaid and SS deductions and think, "Crap. That's a lot of $ I don't get." But now that one of those programs has helped me so much, I'm grateful, more than I can say (there will probably be a future post coming soon about how this might all be taken away soon, but that wasn't what I wanted to address in this post).
I hope people who share memes like the one pictured above, and those who complain about giving $ to assistance programs, will listen to my story and maybe think about it differently. If it doesn't, just remember that life is ironic. The person complaining about giving $ to medicaid could experience some disaster in the future and then be in need of the very program they complained so adamantly about. Life's a bitch that way.
Comments, thoughts, opinions welcome, so long as they are civilized.
Thanks for reading! If you haven't liked my FB page yet, what are you waiting for?
Facebook.com/beckymunyonauthor
It really upset me. I hate the line of thinking that people in various government assistance programs are lazy leeches. The majority of us are not.
First of all, there is a great deal of shame that goes with being poor. I'm currently on medicaid, and used to be a food stamp recipient. The process of applying for these programs is draining and humiliating. You are basically asked to provide your life story and all your deepest darkest secrets. You are made to feel like the lowest scum of the planet. Also, you really don't get much. I got $16 a month worth of food stamps. It did help, but it almost wasn't even worth the grueling application process.
I'd like to tell the story of why I'm in need of assistance. I hope it will enlighten some people.
I used to work at a nonprofit organization for adults with developmental disabilities. In addition, I worked in the retirement day program, which meant that the people I served had degenerative disabilities on top of everything else. It was extremely tough, but extremely rewarding work.
Two and a half years ago, I was assisting a man with gait issues to walk. He fell, bumped my knee, and took me down with him. I wound up with a high ankle sprain (less common and more severe than your average ankle sprain) that didn't heal properly. I had surgery, but my tendon had a bad reaction to the suture, so I had a second surgery. Again, the tendons had a bad reaction, and I was left with chronic neuropathy in both legs (it sucks.) After many doctor visits and a fight with WC insurance, two weeks ago I had surgery #3. I have a new, very experienced surgeon, so I'm hopeful that the 3rd time's the charm.
I lost my job because the company I worked for was too small to find an accommodating position for me (no hard feelings there; it is what it is), but I do receive worker's comp benefits.
If it weren't for the Medicaid expansion program, I otherwise wouldn't have had medical care for things other than the worker comp injury. I'm grateful for the program, and those who contribute to it. I don't know what I would have done with out it.
I feel that for people who are posting the above meme, this should be pointed out: I'm also grateful to myself, since, as someone who worked for 18 years prior to this, I contributed to medicaid and SS as well!!!!
Unfortunately, there are indeed bad apples who abuse these programs. It angers me because it makes people like me--the vast majority--look bad. Those bad apples are the minority. The media doesn't report "And today 2 million welfare recipients did not abuse the program" because that's not exciting news. The two people who did abuse it--that's exciting news.
Let me give an analogy to help my point. When you go into a restaurant and receive bad service, you're pretty angry about it. Sometimes, you are so angry that you tell your friends about it, and post a review on Yelp. But when you get good service, how often do you take the time to write a review? Sadly, I rarely do (though recently I've made a point of doing this.) Something good happens, and we move on with our day. It's the same thing with people on assistance programs. There's no need for the media to report on the good recipients, because there is nothing to report.
People often make jokes about how lucky I am that I don't work and don't have to get up to an alarm.
Yeah, that's definitely nice. Not working has it's perks, I won't lie. But the negatives far outweigh the positives. I'm bored. I'm in pain twenty for hours a day. I can't do the things I used to be able to do--like walk, dance, go bowling, etc. I often have the mental motivation to do something, but the physical energy is just not there. I really miss being able to work. I feel useless and depressed, and it is not a good feeling. What I miss even more is working in the human services profession. It was so rewarding.
Before I was injured, I used to look at my pay stub and see the Medicaid and SS deductions and think, "Crap. That's a lot of $ I don't get." But now that one of those programs has helped me so much, I'm grateful, more than I can say (there will probably be a future post coming soon about how this might all be taken away soon, but that wasn't what I wanted to address in this post).
I hope people who share memes like the one pictured above, and those who complain about giving $ to assistance programs, will listen to my story and maybe think about it differently. If it doesn't, just remember that life is ironic. The person complaining about giving $ to medicaid could experience some disaster in the future and then be in need of the very program they complained so adamantly about. Life's a bitch that way.
Comments, thoughts, opinions welcome, so long as they are civilized.
Thanks for reading! If you haven't liked my FB page yet, what are you waiting for?
Facebook.com/beckymunyonauthor
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
A Lesson In Privilege
A lot of people don't understand the concept of white privilege. I myself struggle to understand it, though I think I've made a lot of gains recently. A lot of people think it's about guilt, and ask, "Why should I feel guilty for being who I am?" The answer is: you shouldn't. It isn't about guilt. Understanding white privilege is about awareness. White people need to be aware of the things in life that are easier for them than for minority groups. Once you have that awareness, you need to stop taking those privileges for granted. Accept them. Know that things are easier for you, and know that in some ways it makes you lucky. This does not mean that people think everything in your life is a cake walk. Of course it isn't. Everyone has their struggles. All it means is that certain aspects of your life are easier than they are for others. That's it. (For the record, that is by no means a full explanation of white privilege. I'm still learning and understanding myself. Please feel free to correct me on anything or add to my definition.)
Over the past few months I've joined Pins With Purpose, a grassroots organization of artists donating our time and supplies to create jewelry and sell it for $ (100% of sales support non-profit organizations; We only collect money for shipping and handling) for organizations that need assistance in the era of Trump. I also manage the Twitter account for PWP. Two of the organizations we support are Black Lives Matter and The Council for American Islamic Relations (CAIR). There are a lot of misperceptions about these groups. Many people, who are either too lazy to do do the proper research or simply want to keep their narrow viewpoint, believe these groups are hate groups/terrorist groups. Because of this I often get a lot of hateful comments aimed at me because I support these groups. I usually, as polite as possible, respond by saying that they are not hate groups, and then link an article with information and (God forbid) real facts. I doubt people actually read them. Instead, they call me a terrorist, a racist (apparently, I hate white people and think I'm the one true awesome white person), pathetic, and been told to go F off and die.
Some days this bothers me more than others. I'm ashamed to admit what I'm about to admit next, but I'm going to. One particularly bad day, I thought "if I don't support Black Lives Matter and CAIR, I won't have to put up with this harassment." Yeah, I did. That thought made me realize that I have the privilege to turn off the harassment. I don't have to put up with it if I don't want to. Black people and Muslims and other disadvantaged groups do not have that privilege. They cannot turn off the harassment. Just imagine that for a minute. It's a scary thought. It was this realization that gave me the motivation to continue supporting these organizations, despite the harassment I get because of it. It's the right thing to do, and it gives me a small taste of what other people have to deal with. I think more white people need to find a way to put themselves in the shoes of disadvantaged groups. It might go a long way in putting an end to all the hate and ignorance.
Pins With Purpose supports several organizations: NAACP, ACLU, Southern Poverty Law Center, The Rape, Incest, and Abuse National Network, Planned Parenthood, The Native American Rights Fund, The Standing Rock Legal Fund, The International Rescue Committee, The Trevor Project, Trans Lifeline, Earth Justice, Border Angels, The Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund, The Committee to Protect Journalists, and ProPublica. I know a lot of people have a charity that is near and dear to their heart, but I really think we have something for everyone here. Check out our Etsy store
Etsy.com/shop/PinsWithPurpose
Over the past few months I've joined Pins With Purpose, a grassroots organization of artists donating our time and supplies to create jewelry and sell it for $ (100% of sales support non-profit organizations; We only collect money for shipping and handling) for organizations that need assistance in the era of Trump. I also manage the Twitter account for PWP. Two of the organizations we support are Black Lives Matter and The Council for American Islamic Relations (CAIR). There are a lot of misperceptions about these groups. Many people, who are either too lazy to do do the proper research or simply want to keep their narrow viewpoint, believe these groups are hate groups/terrorist groups. Because of this I often get a lot of hateful comments aimed at me because I support these groups. I usually, as polite as possible, respond by saying that they are not hate groups, and then link an article with information and (God forbid) real facts. I doubt people actually read them. Instead, they call me a terrorist, a racist (apparently, I hate white people and think I'm the one true awesome white person), pathetic, and been told to go F off and die.
Some days this bothers me more than others. I'm ashamed to admit what I'm about to admit next, but I'm going to. One particularly bad day, I thought "if I don't support Black Lives Matter and CAIR, I won't have to put up with this harassment." Yeah, I did. That thought made me realize that I have the privilege to turn off the harassment. I don't have to put up with it if I don't want to. Black people and Muslims and other disadvantaged groups do not have that privilege. They cannot turn off the harassment. Just imagine that for a minute. It's a scary thought. It was this realization that gave me the motivation to continue supporting these organizations, despite the harassment I get because of it. It's the right thing to do, and it gives me a small taste of what other people have to deal with. I think more white people need to find a way to put themselves in the shoes of disadvantaged groups. It might go a long way in putting an end to all the hate and ignorance.
Pins With Purpose supports several organizations: NAACP, ACLU, Southern Poverty Law Center, The Rape, Incest, and Abuse National Network, Planned Parenthood, The Native American Rights Fund, The Standing Rock Legal Fund, The International Rescue Committee, The Trevor Project, Trans Lifeline, Earth Justice, Border Angels, The Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund, The Committee to Protect Journalists, and ProPublica. I know a lot of people have a charity that is near and dear to their heart, but I really think we have something for everyone here. Check out our Etsy store
Etsy.com/shop/PinsWithPurpose
Thursday, February 16, 2017
My New Charity Work
Back in
November (it kinda feels like the good old days now, doesn’t it?) I felt
helpless when Donald Trump was elected President. (If you are a Trump supporter, please don't stop reading. I'm speaking to everyone, not just those who feel as I do.) I feared for myself, women, the
planet, the country, the world, the Latinx population, Black people, the lgbtq+
population, Muslims, people with disabilities, and so many others. Now, I also
fear for the state of the media and our ability to get the real facts, and the
first amendment. I fear for things I probably haven’t yet realized I should be
afraid for. But, let’s go back to how I felt in November. You know, the happier
times.
After Trump won, that depressed,
helpless feeling threatened to crush me. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t
know what. People were out protesting, and as someone with an invisible
disability, I couldn't do that. People were donating to various organizations like
the ACLU and other civil rights group, but as a person in an ongoing battle
with an insurance company over a worker’s comp injury, I couldn’t do that
either.
A week after the election, a good
friend of mine had an idea. Motivated by the safety pin movement, she decided
to take it to the next level by getting volunteers together to create jewelry
made out of safety pins, sell it on Etsy, and donate 100% of the proceeds to
various charities. She called it Pins With Purpose. The current list of organizations we support includes: The Trevor Project (helping LGBTQ+ youth), Trans
Lifeline, Border Angels (helps immigrants), The International Rescue Committee (helps refugees), The Mexican
American Legal Defense fund, the Council of American-Islamic Relations, The Southern
Poverty Law Center, The American Civil Liberties Union, The National
Association for the Advancement of Colored People, Black Lives Matter, RAINN-Rape,
Abuse, Incest National Network, The Native American Rights fund, Standing Rock,
Planned Parenthood, Propublica (supports free press), The Committee to Protect
Journalists, and Earth Justice. As you can see, we’re ambitious and have our
hands full.
My friend asked for volunteers to
create jewelry. We would be donating our own supplies and only be reimbursed
for shipping and shipping supplies. At first I said no, because I didn’t think
I’d be very good at making jewelry. A few days later, I started having ideas
for projects, so I decided to help. I didn't have a lot of $, but I was able to
buy enough beads to get started. Also, my wonderful sister gave me a lot of
beads, and so did my wonderful mother out-law. It’s been hard, learning
something new, but I love it. As a writer, I consider myself an artist, but I
never thought I could create jewelry. It also feels good to know I am doing
something. I’ve been getting a lot better at it too. It’s therapeutic and fun. I’ve
also became the self-appointed Twitter manager, where I spend several hours a
week putting Tweets together so people will actual be aware that Pins With Purpose exists.
As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I
once worked in human services, in direct-care. I loved the people I worked with
and the joy I got knowing I was making a difference in the lives of such
wonderful individuals. Since my on-the-job injury, the company was forced to
lay me off (no hard feelings—it is what it is). One of the things that has hurt
so much about it, was that I was no longer helping people. Knowing I was making
a difference in the lives of wonderful, beautiful people was what made that
tough job worth it. I missed that feeling. I know I need to take care of myself
and my health, but I’ve felt useless lately, which made my depression worse. It
feels good knowing that I am helping, even just a little. I’m so grateful to my
friend for starting Pins With Purpose, and am proud to be a part of it. So far,
Pins With Purpose has raised over $800 for our various organizations, which is
pretty remarkable considering it’s only been 3 months.
This post
it about sharing my experience, but we also need help, and that's where you--my fabulous, amazing readers--come in. We need sales and we
need help with advertising. I realize that many of you have probably seen my FB
posts about the items for sale, but may not have understood what it’s about.
Now you do, and may be more motivated to help.
Here are
some ways you can help:
•
Invite your friends to like it
•
Share the individual posts
•
Like and retweet us
• Check out
our Etsy shop and see if there is anything you might like to buy (100% of sales
go to the organization the item supports) Etsy.com/shop/PinsWithPurpose
•
Each item is connected to a particular organization, but we have a wide variety
of items for each one.
•
If you do buy something, leaving us a review would be awesome
Pins With
Purpose is made up of a handful of artists. We all have our own unique style,
which means we have a variety of designs and styles. If you know me personally
and are interested in knowing which items I made, checkout my FB profile, where
I have a “my jewelry” album.
I would
like to add that, for me, this goes beyond politics. I don’t care if you voted
for Trump, Johnson, Clinton, Stein, or wrote in Sanders or Mickey Mouse. Yes,
Pins With Purpose was created as a response to Trump being elected, but this is
about helping people who need help. You don’t have to be against Trump to want
to help people. And if you disagree with some of our organizations, then we
have plenty of others that you might not disagree with. If you are pro-life,
then I don’t expect you to go against your personal beliefs and donate to Planned Parenthood, but maybe you could
donate to RAINN (helping victims of sexual violence) instead. If you insist on
believing that Black Lives Matter is a hate group (it isn’t) then why not
donate to the NAACP instead? If you’re tired of being called a racist, bigot,
homophobe, or xenophobe because you voted for Trump, then maybe donate to the NAACP, The Trevor Project,
Trans Lifeline, or one of our many organizations that support immigrants and
refugees. And then there’s the ACLU and the Southern Poverty Law Center. They
help with civil rights for everyone. So who wouldn’t want to donate to them? My
point, is that everyone can help. And again, it’s cool if you can’t/don’t want
to buy anything. Even a like on FB or a share of a post would help.
I think
what’s important right now is that we come together as Americans and help one
another, because we really need it right now.
Thank you,
everyone, for helping! You are all awesome!
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
My Year In Writing
I've discovered a wonderful thing: if I talk about 2016 in terms of my writing endeavors, it's a pretty good year. Yippee!
2016 didn't totally suck. It's been a rough year, personally and globally, but there've been good things. I've had good times and I have good people in my life. Thank goodness, or I'd probably go insane. I've also made lots of good writing accomplishments.
First, I made good headway in what will be the final (or next to final) draft of New Year's Revolution, my vampire novel. Yeah, it seems like I'm always working on that one, but I finally discovered what it actually needs, how to do it, and how to make it reasonably lengthed. Yes, lengthed is a word (I also invented a word in 2016). Ironically, NYR is currently on hold, but I don't feel nervous about it being on hold because I know where I'm going with it. When I pick it up again next year, I'll know what to do. Also, it's on hold because I'm working on other projects, not because I'm not writing. That's important to note.
My second big writing accomplishment of 2016 is City of Secrets, formerly known as Caribou Canyon. The serial version is well underway and a few people I'm not related to are even reading it! The serial version is essentially a polished 2nd draft, but I'm really excited about it. It's nice to have something out there, and I really like where I'm going with the story. If I keep going the way I am, it'll be another year+ before it's finished, but that's okay. I kind of like the idea of keeping something going while I work on my other stuff, none of which I plan to serialize. Once it's finished, I plan to polish it up again, then release it in about six or so little books in kindle format. That's the plan anyway. I might also change the name back to Caribou Canyon, but we'll see.
Most recently, the endeavor I'm most excited about is the 2nd draft of Pieces. Pieces is the literary mystery with magical realism (say that 10 times fast) that I did for NaNo 2015. The big news is that I finally thought of a name: Pieces. I'm really happy with the title, I think it's going to stick. I just started the 2nd draft in November, but I've been researching it all year. This is the biggest project I've worked on to date. I've read a good 10 or so books to prepare (war memoirs, PTSD books, and a couple other subjects that are top secret), and I may have to do still more reading. I feel like draft 2 is going well so far, and I'm confident-ish that I can finish this in 3 drafts (fingers crossed.) I'm hoping to have it completed sometime mid-2017 (or even Spring) but that might be over-zealous, considering that I'm working on CoS and may be having surgery in a month or so (that's a subject for another time). The point is, I'm really excited. I feel like this might be the best thing I've done so far.
Sprinkled in between the work I've done on my three big projects, I've written some poetry which I'm fairly happy with, and some blog posts on subjects that I think need tackling. So, yay me. This blog has been slightly neglected as of late, but I'd like to try and remedy that, but we'll see. I love blogging, but the major projects are of most importance.
So, 2016 has not been a bust, at least not in the writing world. Yay! I look forward to continuing my stories, actually finishing some things, and learning and growing as a writer and a person. Yay.
If you haven't checked out City of Secrets yet, you totally should: bit.ly/2a7FNDD
2016 didn't totally suck. It's been a rough year, personally and globally, but there've been good things. I've had good times and I have good people in my life. Thank goodness, or I'd probably go insane. I've also made lots of good writing accomplishments.
First, I made good headway in what will be the final (or next to final) draft of New Year's Revolution, my vampire novel. Yeah, it seems like I'm always working on that one, but I finally discovered what it actually needs, how to do it, and how to make it reasonably lengthed. Yes, lengthed is a word (I also invented a word in 2016). Ironically, NYR is currently on hold, but I don't feel nervous about it being on hold because I know where I'm going with it. When I pick it up again next year, I'll know what to do. Also, it's on hold because I'm working on other projects, not because I'm not writing. That's important to note.
My second big writing accomplishment of 2016 is City of Secrets, formerly known as Caribou Canyon. The serial version is well underway and a few people I'm not related to are even reading it! The serial version is essentially a polished 2nd draft, but I'm really excited about it. It's nice to have something out there, and I really like where I'm going with the story. If I keep going the way I am, it'll be another year+ before it's finished, but that's okay. I kind of like the idea of keeping something going while I work on my other stuff, none of which I plan to serialize. Once it's finished, I plan to polish it up again, then release it in about six or so little books in kindle format. That's the plan anyway. I might also change the name back to Caribou Canyon, but we'll see.
Most recently, the endeavor I'm most excited about is the 2nd draft of Pieces. Pieces is the literary mystery with magical realism (say that 10 times fast) that I did for NaNo 2015. The big news is that I finally thought of a name: Pieces. I'm really happy with the title, I think it's going to stick. I just started the 2nd draft in November, but I've been researching it all year. This is the biggest project I've worked on to date. I've read a good 10 or so books to prepare (war memoirs, PTSD books, and a couple other subjects that are top secret), and I may have to do still more reading. I feel like draft 2 is going well so far, and I'm confident-ish that I can finish this in 3 drafts (fingers crossed.) I'm hoping to have it completed sometime mid-2017 (or even Spring) but that might be over-zealous, considering that I'm working on CoS and may be having surgery in a month or so (that's a subject for another time). The point is, I'm really excited. I feel like this might be the best thing I've done so far.
Sprinkled in between the work I've done on my three big projects, I've written some poetry which I'm fairly happy with, and some blog posts on subjects that I think need tackling. So, yay me. This blog has been slightly neglected as of late, but I'd like to try and remedy that, but we'll see. I love blogging, but the major projects are of most importance.
So, 2016 has not been a bust, at least not in the writing world. Yay! I look forward to continuing my stories, actually finishing some things, and learning and growing as a writer and a person. Yay.
If you haven't checked out City of Secrets yet, you totally should: bit.ly/2a7FNDD
Thursday, November 17, 2016
White People--If You're Feeling Awful--Good. Remember That Feeling And Keep It With You
Not the most uplifting title, is it? You're probably thinking, "Becky, why do you want me to keep feeling awful? I don't want to feel awful." Well, I don't want to feel awful either; no one does. In truth, this post is meant to be more uplifting than the title might let on.
First, I need to clarify. The awful feelings I'm referring to are in regards to the results of the Presidential election. If you're feeling awful about something else: I'm sorry to hear that, and I hope you feel better soon. Now, back to the results of the election. If you're not satisfied with the results and are feeling awful, or maybe horrified, sickened, sad, devastated, disgusted, disillusioned, terrified, or some brand new emotion that this election brought forth, then please read on.
This post is mainly for those who did not vote for Donald Trump or did not support him as a candidate but were unable to vote. It's for those who are unhappy with the results. It's for those who are feeling like America is not the country we thought it was. It's also aimed at white people/people of privilege, because what I want to say applies to those folks more than others. All of that being said, anyone is welcome to read, as always. Comments are welcome. If you don't agree with me, that's totally cool, feel free to say so, but keep your comments constructive and civilized. Thanks.
So, it's been a little over a week since Donald Trump became the President Elect of the United States (not sure if I'm capitalizing the words I'm supposed to). Many people are unhappy (understatement) with this result. Many are scared about what it means for the future of Muslims, Black people, the LGBTQ+ community, women, Latinx, people with disabilities, minorities I didn't mention, the planet, healthcare, free speech and the media, America's relationship with other countries, and so on. That's a scarily long list, and I think I may have left some things out (eek).
What's great is that a lot of people have been coming forward and contributing--be it donating, buying newspapers, wearing safety pins, patronizing business' that have been targets of hate crimes, and etc. This is all really awesome. It's wonderful to see people coming together and cooperating. It's great to see people thinking of the bigger picture and their own lives. I hope people continue to find positive ways to help make the world a better, safer place.
A sentiment I've heard echoed--mainly by white people--is, "Wow, America isn't what I thought it was. I can't believe we're really this racist. Things are getting so much worse," or something along those lines. I was thinking something similar. On social media, I noticed a different sentiment from a few Black people, "America was always this racist. Things have always been bad for Black people and other minorities, it's just that white people were too privileged to notice." I'm starting to realize that the latter sentiment is probably closer to reality. That's when it occurred to me that maybe something good can come out of this. Maybe white people/people of privilege will finally have theirs eyes opened to the truth. I know mine are. I want to keep them open. I want to keep seeing the country/world as it really is. If I do this, then maybe I can help fix things. If I can start looking beyond my own privilege, if I can learn to do better, then maybe other people can too. We can't fix a problem if we don't see that problem. The tactics Donald Trump used to get elected President (capitalization?) have opened so many eyes. As horrible as it is that it had to happen this way, something good can still come out of it. We just have to make it happen. We know the truth, and we have work to do.
This is what leads me to my main message. I don't know about anyone else, but feeling this way sucks. I hate it. I hate being afraid. I hate knowing that the world is so much worse than I thought it was. I'm sure most people hate feeling this way. I very much want this feeling to go away. But here's the thing--I can't let it. I have to feel this way. This isn't me being negative. If I keep this awful feeling inside, then it will serve as a reminder that things need to be done. The time of sitting back in my privilege is over. It would be very, very easy for white people to say, "Hey, I really didn't want a Trump Presidency, but I'm white and straight and a lot of these policies I'm afraid of may not affect me." I'm not saying that the people out there protesting and donating and calling lawmakers are suddenly going to stop, but they might. It might not be next week, or a month from now, or even six months from now, but I fear that white people will stop fighting. Why? Because four years (maybe more) is a long time to fight, and because we can stop. We (white people) have the privilege of letting it go. Black people, Muslims, Latinx, and many other minority groups do not have that privilege. They can't choose to take off their safety pins, or keep their opinions to themselves. They're a target simply because of what they look like. Think about that. Just imagine what that would be like. All I can do is imagine, but the thought is horrifying.
So, if you're someone who's currently fighting against the negativity, hate, bigotry, racism, and other crappy things--keep fighting. Remember how you feel right now. If you need a reminder, think back to how you felt on Nov. 8th. It might be a long four years, but we're not alone, and we can act. We can help others, and we can help ourselves.
Most importantly, no matter what else you do, please vote in future elections. Vote in every election you can, not just in the presidential election. The president is one man. One very important man, yes, but still just one man. He isn't the only lawmaker. Many of these other lawmakers are voted for during non-presidential elections. This is when we need to make our voices heard. If this election showed anything, it showed what happens when one group votes and the other doesn't. So, let's get out there and vote! And remember to keep feeling awful!
This positive message was brought to you by Becky Munyon's brain and sentiments I've read on the internet and heard on TV.
First, I need to clarify. The awful feelings I'm referring to are in regards to the results of the Presidential election. If you're feeling awful about something else: I'm sorry to hear that, and I hope you feel better soon. Now, back to the results of the election. If you're not satisfied with the results and are feeling awful, or maybe horrified, sickened, sad, devastated, disgusted, disillusioned, terrified, or some brand new emotion that this election brought forth, then please read on.
This post is mainly for those who did not vote for Donald Trump or did not support him as a candidate but were unable to vote. It's for those who are unhappy with the results. It's for those who are feeling like America is not the country we thought it was. It's also aimed at white people/people of privilege, because what I want to say applies to those folks more than others. All of that being said, anyone is welcome to read, as always. Comments are welcome. If you don't agree with me, that's totally cool, feel free to say so, but keep your comments constructive and civilized. Thanks.
So, it's been a little over a week since Donald Trump became the President Elect of the United States (not sure if I'm capitalizing the words I'm supposed to). Many people are unhappy (understatement) with this result. Many are scared about what it means for the future of Muslims, Black people, the LGBTQ+ community, women, Latinx, people with disabilities, minorities I didn't mention, the planet, healthcare, free speech and the media, America's relationship with other countries, and so on. That's a scarily long list, and I think I may have left some things out (eek).
What's great is that a lot of people have been coming forward and contributing--be it donating, buying newspapers, wearing safety pins, patronizing business' that have been targets of hate crimes, and etc. This is all really awesome. It's wonderful to see people coming together and cooperating. It's great to see people thinking of the bigger picture and their own lives. I hope people continue to find positive ways to help make the world a better, safer place.
A sentiment I've heard echoed--mainly by white people--is, "Wow, America isn't what I thought it was. I can't believe we're really this racist. Things are getting so much worse," or something along those lines. I was thinking something similar. On social media, I noticed a different sentiment from a few Black people, "America was always this racist. Things have always been bad for Black people and other minorities, it's just that white people were too privileged to notice." I'm starting to realize that the latter sentiment is probably closer to reality. That's when it occurred to me that maybe something good can come out of this. Maybe white people/people of privilege will finally have theirs eyes opened to the truth. I know mine are. I want to keep them open. I want to keep seeing the country/world as it really is. If I do this, then maybe I can help fix things. If I can start looking beyond my own privilege, if I can learn to do better, then maybe other people can too. We can't fix a problem if we don't see that problem. The tactics Donald Trump used to get elected President (capitalization?) have opened so many eyes. As horrible as it is that it had to happen this way, something good can still come out of it. We just have to make it happen. We know the truth, and we have work to do.
This is what leads me to my main message. I don't know about anyone else, but feeling this way sucks. I hate it. I hate being afraid. I hate knowing that the world is so much worse than I thought it was. I'm sure most people hate feeling this way. I very much want this feeling to go away. But here's the thing--I can't let it. I have to feel this way. This isn't me being negative. If I keep this awful feeling inside, then it will serve as a reminder that things need to be done. The time of sitting back in my privilege is over. It would be very, very easy for white people to say, "Hey, I really didn't want a Trump Presidency, but I'm white and straight and a lot of these policies I'm afraid of may not affect me." I'm not saying that the people out there protesting and donating and calling lawmakers are suddenly going to stop, but they might. It might not be next week, or a month from now, or even six months from now, but I fear that white people will stop fighting. Why? Because four years (maybe more) is a long time to fight, and because we can stop. We (white people) have the privilege of letting it go. Black people, Muslims, Latinx, and many other minority groups do not have that privilege. They can't choose to take off their safety pins, or keep their opinions to themselves. They're a target simply because of what they look like. Think about that. Just imagine what that would be like. All I can do is imagine, but the thought is horrifying.
So, if you're someone who's currently fighting against the negativity, hate, bigotry, racism, and other crappy things--keep fighting. Remember how you feel right now. If you need a reminder, think back to how you felt on Nov. 8th. It might be a long four years, but we're not alone, and we can act. We can help others, and we can help ourselves.
Most importantly, no matter what else you do, please vote in future elections. Vote in every election you can, not just in the presidential election. The president is one man. One very important man, yes, but still just one man. He isn't the only lawmaker. Many of these other lawmakers are voted for during non-presidential elections. This is when we need to make our voices heard. If this election showed anything, it showed what happens when one group votes and the other doesn't. So, let's get out there and vote! And remember to keep feeling awful!
This positive message was brought to you by Becky Munyon's brain and sentiments I've read on the internet and heard on TV.
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Why Victims Don't Report--Because for some reason people still do not get it
I'm seeing all over TV and social media that there is still a lot of confusion regarding why victims don't report sexual harassment, abuse, assault, and rape. Despite that many victims have stated their (legitimate) reasons publicly; last week's trending hashtag #whywomendontreport, which listed several (valid) explanations; and--quite frankly--common freaking sense (if one would only take a few seconds to think about it logically); victims are still being questioned for why they don't report right away, or at all. There are too many ignorant people in the world who just do not get it. In my opinion, this subject will not be closed until people do get it.
For this post, I am going to use the word victim, to account for the fact that both women and men are victims. I am going to use the word perpetrator, to account for the fact that both women and men can be perpetrators.
In my last post, I recounted a situation I was in at the part-time job I held in high school. My male supervisor continuously sexually harassed me, and at least one other female co-worker. I'm not going to get too into that (because I already did), but one of the reasons I never reported him was fear. Among other things, I was afraid of not being believed, and what would happen to me and my job if I reported.
Fear plays a huge role in why people don't report. I'd say it's the motivating factor behind the myriad of reasons people stay silent. I think that people who've been fortunate enough to not have experienced a situation in which they were made a victim, don't understand this fear and how strong it is. In order to achieve universal understanding, we need to dig deeper. We need to understand what victims are going through and what they may be thinking.
As someone who has been the victim of more than one type of harassment and assault, holds a psychology degree and continues to research trauma and its effects, and has worked professionally with victims of abuse, I feel that I can say with a fair degree of confidence that something victims want most (or at least near the top of the list) is to move on. They want the situation to be over. They want to be safe. They want to escape the person/situation that victimized them and move on and retake their lives. Not reporting is one way to accomplish this. As many people know from watching the news and social media, when a victim reports, they are not left alone for a very long time. They are judged again and again by friends, family, and acquaintances and also by perfect strangers who have no business judging them. They are forced to relive the trauma of what happened over and over and over again. They are not made to feel safe and protected. They face the fear of not knowing how long the judgment will go on, and the fear of wondering what the full repercussions will be. Not reporting is a way of letting go, moving on, and being safe.
I would like to specifically address sexual assault and harassment. Imagine a victim in a situation (possibly in a public place) where they are touched or grabbed inappropriately. This can happen more easily than one might think. A perpetrator could be hugging a victim and slide a hand to an intimate place, or even give the victim a non-consensual kiss on the lips. In these cases, the assault may only last a few seconds. The victim is most likely in pure shock for several seconds or even minutes or hours. The victim may be thinking something along the lines of: "Did that really happen?" By the time the victim has processed what has just occurred, the situation is likely over. The victim may then be thinking : "Why say something? It's over. I'm safe now." Fear also plays a factor in these situations. Inappropriate touches can easily be explained by things like, "it was an accident" or "that's just how I greet people." Statements/explanations like that are not okay, but unfortunately are made. Why would a victim, who is already feeling shame, fear, confusion, and violation want to risk causing a scene? What they really want is to move on and be safe. Staying silent is a way to ensure that safety.
I feel it's necessary to address this trend: after one or two victims come forward, more and more victims (often of the same perpetrator) start coming out of the woodwork. Many people are baffled by this, wondering why these victims had stayed silent and how/why there are so many suddenly speaking up. Critics also question the legitimacy of these claims. I admit that it does seem strange, but that's only if one doesn't understand trauma and what it's like to be a victim. Victims feel more comfortable when they know they are not alone. When victims realize that others have had similar experiences, some of the shame and self-blame goes away. They think: "If this happened to those others, then maybe it wasn't my fault after all. How can all of these people be at fault?"
One effective form of trauma therapy is group therapy in which the group members have all shared similar traumas, like groups for war veterans, battered wives, victims of childhood sexual abuse, etc. If you've never been a victim, all you need to do to understand this is to think about how you feel when you meet someone and realize they share your love of mountain climbing, or French cuisine, or stamp collecting or whatever. Knowing we have something in common with someone automatically makes us feel closer to them. It's human nature. So of course victims are going to be encouraged to come forward when they've learned that others who shared their experiences had. They see the bravery in their fellow victims, and feel brave themselves.
I said it in my last post, and I'll say it again: things need to change. We need to stop blaming and shaming and ridiculing victims. We need to stop living in the ignorant bliss of pretending that bad things do not happen, that abuse, assault, and rape do not happen. We need to support victims and make them feel comfortable reporting, not immediately scorn them. It's the 21st century for crying out loud. It's time to get our acts together.
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